...Fun with the police

If you don't like to offer "gratuities" to people in places of power, then this is not the country for you. The first time this happened to me was two years ago, when, at dusk, I had neglected to turn on the front light on my motorbike as I was heading to a yoga class. By some miracle of genius, the police officer who pulled me over spoke perfect English. What a coincidence! He knew the work for "foreign driver's license," and he could say "In Vietnam, you must follow the laws of the Vietnamese," and he even knew the word "confiscate," as in "I am going to have to confiscate your motorbike right now and you will have to come with me to the police station." After conferring with his partner, he turned back to me and informed that I could save myself all the trouble if I happened to have 400,000 VND on me (about $25). As it turned out, I only had 100,000 VND ($6) which apparently was enough to relieve him of the responsibility of having to arrest me.
It wasn't long before, on this trip, I met up again with the "canh sat," as they are known here. (Police.) This time is was for "speeding" down a major thoroughfare jammed with traffic (OK, maybe I was going a little fast). But this time, experienced in the ways of police officers here (and in the US for that matter), I tried some diplomacy: smiling, and speaking really bad Vietnamese. "Happy New Year!"
Taken aback by the tall white person speaking (mangling) his language, he smiled at me. I told him I was sorry for speeding. He smiled again, went to talk to this partner, and returned. Again, in impeccable english, he said "You can keep your motorbike for 100,00 VND." Wow, what a bargain. Now, having gotten over my reticence at sharing the largesse with local authorities, I forked over a crisp note, which he slipped into a wad of bills I estimate at about three inches thick, wedged into the spine of a little book he carried.
So imagine what it would cost to start a company here? Or buy a house? As the locals say, "Troi oi," loosely translated as "Oh my heavens."